Eulogy - My Tribute to my Dad!

Dennis Frankie Layne


To kick start this eulogy I was at logger heads with myself as to how I would address my dad throughout. Dennis is my father and I his son but to his face I never had a word to address him. Calling him dad didn’t sit right with me and calling him Dennis to impersonal. To try and address this, I tried to conjure up a nickname for him which I felt comfortable to call him. So I tried calling him ‘pops’ which he wasn’t having any of it. I wondered why it bothered him so much; but it came to light only during the last few weeks as to why.

Many of you sitting here today; had the fortune/misfortune of being given a nickname by Dennis and I know a number of you are still known by that name today. John Thomas O’Donnell aka Jarvis. My two aunts Jennifer and Yvonne fondly recite the names that they were called: Jennifer – Angie or Queeny and my personal favourite Yvonne’s was Cripple, shorten to crip and then onto criptonite. God only imagines what might have happened had my ‘pops’ nickname taken off. So Dennis, My Dad and Granddad Dennis it is for the remainder of this eulogy.

During this time of mourning, grieving and reflection, I’d like this to be an opportunity for us to dry our eyes and put on the smile that he brought to all our lives. As I recite my memories of a great man, I hope there are instances that will remind you of a moment/occasion that you spent in his company. And as Dennis used humour to cause us to laugh and smile, I hope the jokes and good times I recall cause you to fondly reminisce.

Someone offering their condolences said let’s remember the good times; but for me there were only goods times.

Come dine with me

Dennis wouldn’t have cut it on a show like ‘Come dine with me’. I never had the luxury of tasting his cooking but from what I remember when I went to see him once, was that I wasn’t missing much. He was warming a pot of tinned beef broth in a saucer and he was trying to pass it off as his own cooked from scratch, but when I wasn’t having any of it, he relented and confessed. He said he was glad I had said it obviously shop bought; as he did have an idea of inviting friends over for dinner and serving it to them. Sticking with the food theme; I know you’ll be enjoying a plate of roast potatoes somewhere right now or that you wish I hurry up so that we can get to the reception and eat.

Brave is the man that came between Dennis and his beloved food, especially grannies saltfish bakes!!! I know one of Granddads fond memories of Dennis is him sitting down at the dining table eating a whole chicken with a loaf of bread.

Music

He loved music and sound systems most especially the bass and I was told that there was one music festival he attended with a friend and he insisted that they go as close to the bass box as possible. The bass was so much that their eyes started to vibrate.

One afternoon when Dennis had the use of a friend’s convertible; we went for a drive (eventually). He insisted on perfecting the manual EQ before we drove off. Why can’t we just drive I asked, you can’t drive around with the sound sounding ****! His love for vinyl had him traipsing the four corners of London to search for tunes. A bug bear of his was Dj’s on the radio not mixing in beats to his perfection. There was time when I had a go on his desks trying to mix and after I had mixed a number of tunes: I thought I’d ask how I did – ‘try mix that in a club and see if you come out alive’ was the reply!

Dennis sayings

I fondly remember a number of his sayings of which I’ll do them no justice by trying to imitate the original but they went along the lines of Ahwoo! What?! and What now?!? Dread! Dread was a particular favourite of mine and one that I soon added to my own vocabulary.

Sports

I couldn’t for the life of me understand why he supported Chelsea; and not only that have your younger brother support them too. Uncle Troy recalled the story the other day when he was stuck between a rock and a hard place when he had his big sister on one hand saying Man Utd and his big brother on the other saying Chelsea insisting he support their teams. Dennis won! Although I do support Man Utd and so do his grandchildren! Dennis would have been glad to see the blues win 3 league titles in his lifetime and no one would of thought that back in the 60’s and 70’s.

Even the world of Formula 1 has been hit by Dennis’ passing. Lewis Hamilton hasn’t managed to finish a race since. At the risk of causing family members to think back in annoyance about the times he recorded over their videos with motor sport. I won’t go any further with this topic.

Family Man

Dennis was a family man and I have learnt from him about the importance of family. He cherished his big sister and still as a grown man had great respect for his parents. I saw the little boy in him last year when he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing granny because she would tell him I told you so. After his stint in hospital- him knowing some of the causes were self inflicted. What family said and thought mattered to him. Our last conversation was him calling to apologise because he hadn’t been well enough to call his Grand Daughters to wish them ‘Happy birthday’ on their birthdays.

Friends

Words don’t do him any justice when it comes to articulating what he meant to his friends. But the turn out here today speaks volumes.

Jokes (Typical Dennis)

We spoke once and he mentioned to me that he had broken his phone and I thought that he was upset because he didn’t have a phone to use; but no! His annoyance came from the fact that he had well over 200+ jokes saved on the phone. I’m aware that there is a jokes crew amongst his friends and I got in on the act; some reason somewhere someday, I guess he felt that I should be privy to these jokes. Some borderline; others unrepeatable but they caused me to laugh and smile. It’s the little things that you’ll miss the most.

We were reminiscing the other night about Dennis and our thoughts turned to Dennis’ love for Top Gear. We were running joke about the fact that Dennis felt it was the right time for him to go now as he could rest happily knowing who ‘The Stig’ was.

If you want to stay in Dennis’ good books don’t ask him to drive you anywhere too far. When I first met him he dropped me home to Hackney in his van which was a touch for me as it was usually a two bus journey. Thinking I had it made; when saying goodbye he said you’re not getting this all the time. He was right the next few times I was dropped in Camden and made the rest of the journey by bus. Others have recalled their memories of rides they had in the back of Dennis’ van.

Eleven years

I thank God for the 11 years we spent together and obviously I wish there were more, I’m happy with what he witnessed in that time period. He witnessed what a number of people will not get to witness if they live double his years on this earth. Everything I invited my Dad to attend he was there regardless – My Graduation, Our Wedding, Children’s naming ceremonies, their 1st birthdays. What I’m most happy about is that he got to meet and hold all three of his grand children.

I thank God for second chances and the period he spent in hospital last year as that enabled us to spend more time together and say how we felt. Some of those conversations bring comfort to me now – as I know with certainty how my dad felt about me and how proud he said he was. One thing about Dennis and I’m sure you’ll agree - you always knew where you stood with him. He wasn’t afraid of telling you that he loved you. If there’s one thing that we’re all going to miss are his genuine and affectional hugs. He didn’t hug in halves it was the whole squeeze.



I thought this poem I read on my dad’s memorial wall encapsulates him and our feelings towards him and I’ll end on this note!



Each morning when we wake

We know that you are gone.



And no one knows the heartache

As we try to carry on.



Our hearts still ache with sadness

And many tears still flow.



What it meant to lose you,

No one will ever know.



Our thoughts are always with you,

Your place no one can fill.



In life we loved you dearly,

In death we love you still.



There will always be heartache,

And often a silent tear,

But always a precious memory

Of the days when you were here.



If tears could make a staircase,

And hearts make a lane,

We’d walk the path to heaven

And bring you home again.



We hold you close within our hearts,

And there you will remain

To walk with us throughout our lives

Until we meet again.



Our family chain is broken now

And nothing will be the same

But God calls us one by one

The chain will link again







Ladies and Gentlemen – Mr Dennis Frankie Layne a Kilburn Square Legend!